A Landlubber's Lament: Searching for the Perfect Boat-Building Project

watercolour image of old man and his dog on a boat

Ahoy, fellow craft enthusiasts and adventurous souls! Today, I find myself contemplating an ambitious endeavor that has been floating in the recesses of my mind for quite some time: building a boat. Yes, you heard that right. A boat! Now, before you cast me off as a landlubber lost at sea, hear me out.


As someone who revels in the art of woodworking, boats have always held a peculiar fascination for me. There's just something about the marriage of wood and water that stirs my creative spirit. Sure, cars are great, but they lack that ineffable charm that can only be found in a vessel that glides upon the waves (this was just for effect, cars are better than boats... Fact)

Now, let's address the elephant in the room: my complete lack of experience with boats. To put it bluntly, I'm as knowledgeable about boats as a fish is about riding a bicycle. But hey, that's never stopped me before! After all, isn't life just a series of adventures where we plunge headfirst into the unknown, armed with little more than determination and a sturdy set of tools?


My nostalgic memories of childhood escapades on the Beauly Firth might be a tad embellished. I recall sun-drenched days, gentle breezes, and carefree frolicking on the water. But let's face it, reality probably involved wind-whipped hair, sea spray dousing my face, and the occasional near-drowning incident. Nonetheless, it is the process of building that beckons me, not just the idyllic fantasies of boating bliss.


So, let's set sail on this whimsical journey and explore the possibilities. While a small canoe might be the traditional choice, with its elegant bent wood and steaming techniques, my ambition yearns for something grander. A cozy rowing boat, perhaps? Made primarily of marine ply, it would be a manageable project, avoiding the complexities of bending wood to my inexperienced hands.


But wait, there's more! I dream of a boat that can be my home away from home—a miniature floating abode where I can spend tranquil nights surrounded by the serenity of the water. To achieve this, we need to level up and embrace the world of engines. Sails may be romantic, but let's be honest, trying to tame the wind fills me with more trepidation than anticipation. So, an engine it is, my trusty companion in the realm of aquatic exploration.


Now, you might be thinking, "But what about environmental concerns?" Fear not, my eco-conscious friends, for I have a solution! Picture this: an electric boat adorned with solar panels, harnessing the power of the sun for our small jaunts across the shimmering water. A sustainable voyage awaits us, with nature as our guide and the gentle hum of the electric motor serenading our journeys.


As I peruse the vast sea of boat-building possibilities, my checklist forms. Two berths—because who wants to embark on a nautical adventure alone? My faithful four-legged companion, my dog, shall be my first mate. The boat must be compact enough to be towed behind a family car, ensuring that our aquatic escapades are not limited to a single body of water.


So, dear reader, the quest begins! In my mind's eye, I see myself clad in a dusty workshop, sawdust swirling around me like magical pixie dust. I envision the satisfaction that comes from meticulously completing thousands of small projects, each one contributing to the grand finale—the boat of my dreams.


So join me, fellow crafters, as I embark on this comical and ambitious journey. Together, we shall chart a course to uncharted waters, where the only limit is our imagination. Brace yourselves for a tale of mishaps, triumphs, and belly-aching laughter, as this landlubber sets sail upon the sea of boat-building.


Ahoy, adventure! Prepare to meet your match!

Fair winds and smooth sailing,



Write a comment

Comments: 0